What do you do when you feel that pang of self-pity began to demand attention in your spirit?
What do you tell yourself when you find the "It's not fair!" phrase coming out of your mouth? Maybe you don't even say it, heaven forbid, but you think it plenty.
I have been thinking about self-pity since reading this convicting line in my most recent read, The Christian Home, by Paul Shirley. I highly recommend this little book as a side note. It won't take you long to read but will surely prick your spirit a few times if you are anything like me.
"Self-pity is really just being mad at God because He didn't let you control your life and keep your idols" (A Tired Family chapter, page 93).
Let's just say this entire chapter (the subtitle being -"Shepherding your heart through ministry fatigue, especially for Mom") just hit me between the eyes. OH, MY. Any mama (and I believe even fathers) that finds herself/himself just plain ol' tired and bone weary would be encouraged by this author's reminders.
"Maintaining a healthy spiritual life and vibrant family life requires diligent effort on your part-especially for moms who are on the front lines of ministry at home. The numerous responsibilities of life coupled with the extensive needs of your family, create a lot of work in the Christian home. Since we live in a fallen world, you can expect for this to be a struggle, make you tired and tempt you in unique ways. Your carnal desire for comfort will sometimes chafe at the restrictions imposed by the burdens of this ministry, but you must remember that God has imposed these burdens on you for your good and His glory." (page 89).
My calling is hard. Exhausting. Wearisome. It is an emptying out of myself and my desires and comforts and replaced with Him. His grace. His strength. His selflessness. His joy. That is so radically different than we Christian women (and men) are hearing from the world around us. Let's be honest, or even from many of our Christian brothers and sisters. Magazines, sermons, Facebook, and Christian authors often present the Christian life as a list of to dos that if you do them correctly will get you a nice, smooth, problem free life. And my pitiful self-pitying, weary little heart just falls in line. How grateful I am for men and women of God who are oozing the Holy Spirit and are telling us a different story. They remind us that "in this world we will have tribulation!" How grateful I am for the pure Word of God who brings my mind and heart into right thinking, feeling and choosing when I commit to spending time in it every single day. How rich a reminder to press into Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, for strength and grace to serve selflessly, joyfully and whole-heartedly those He has called me to serve.
That being said, I had much opportunity to put this into practice this week as we sent my parents off after a sweet, sweet five weeks with them in our home. It was a harder goodbye for me than usual. Not sure why, but Thursday (departure day) found me with almost hourly opportunities to reign in my self-pity and look to Jesus for comfort and JOY.
We have had guests pretty much since November 7th. It has been wonderful. It has been sweet beyond expression. The hardest part of having guests and visitors for our family is seeing them go. But we have been called to stay. I have once again been called to live a very long distance from my parents and brothers and their families. I don't know why but I know He is good and arranges all things for my good and His glory. So, as I am trying to teach my children and my heart, enjoy every single moment you have because they won't last forever.
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| He said he wanted to have typical Houston fare so here we are at the local "typical." We all tried fried Alligator for the first time. What an adventure! |
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| Our girl has been on a new health journey this month so she and I make lots of dr. visits to a town 45 minutes away twice a week. The discovery of this three story, brand new, sunny library has made those trips a bit more fun. |
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| Family Wall Art at the Sawyer Yards downtown! |
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| We got to enjoy this cousin three weekends in a row as she was working 4 hours north of us and choose to spend those days with us on the weekends. We kind of hope she "needs" to come back very soon! |
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| A great cultural experience at Sawyer Yards |
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| We survived our first southern freeze!!! We are so grateful for a wonderful property manager who took many precautions to protect our outside pipes and educate us on how to avoid busted pipes. We came through wonderfully...our neighbors were not so fortunate. Texas weather is indeed quite fascinating! |
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| This weekend we had visitors from North Carolina (cousin flew home early the morning of this picture), North Dakota and Dallas Fort Worth area. We were so honored they all came and were so gracious about 10 people sharing 2 bathrooms! |
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| Two weeks ago our little man injured his ankle playing football at school and after finding out he would be wearing a boot for two weeks, we comforted ourselves with a McFlurry! |
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| We are hopeful for good news this coming Wednesday! |
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| My parents treated us to dinner for a belated birthday gift for this man who we just love and appreciate so much. He works so hard for us and God provides so well for us through his faithful service. |
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| Practice never makes perfect when it comes to goodbyes, but "see you later" does hint of sweet joys ahead! |
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They come and love on us in so many, many ways and then leave our hearts longing for more time and so so grateful for what we had.
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Have a blessed weekend friends! May He find us faithfully serving Him with joy and courage, knowing He is holding us firmly in the palm of His sovereign Hand.
Because He lives,
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