In God's Waiting Room

I have at times in my life felt that all I ever do is sit in God's waiting room.  Waiting for Him to move.  Waiting for that breakthrough.  That provision.  That answer to prayer.  Waiting for that new job.  Waiting for those test results.  Waiting for the healing emotionally, physically or spiritually I have asked for in faith. Waiting for payday and that paycheck so desperately needed to pay that pile of bills.  

Waiting for those longed for words: "Jama, it's your turn!"

I have also felt that most of my adult life has been spent waiting for others.  In Brazil, my efficient, rarely procrastinating, "get things done in record order"  personality left me constantly waiting on others.  Before we had a car, I would wait for hours for whoever said they would come pick me up at a certain time but then would be hours late.  I learned to make food that could sit for a long time on the stove and not be completely ruined by the time my guests showed up because Brazilians almost never show up even within the marked hour.  We were blessed with very good doctors and professionals in Brazil, but the better reputation they had, the longer you sat and waited for them to see you.  I once waited no less than three hours to be seen by my neurologist! 

I have sat by my husband's bedside numerous times in the last 16 years, waiting for a hospital discharge, waiting for the nurse to come and hook up more meds or fluids to his IV., waiting for his oxygen levels to even out so the machine would stop beeping.  I sat next to my 3 month old baby's bed in ICU, waiting for his brain bleed to absorb, waiting for the next CT scan to see if he would need surgery, waiting for his tongue laceration to heal enough so he could nurse.  I have sat next to my little girl after emergency orthopedic surgery, waiting for her to wake up and find out she would have two pins sticking out of her elbow for several weeks.  

Now I wait for up to 30 minutes every afternoon in the carpool lane to pick up my little man after school.

Last week this was my view as I waited for my husband to be released from the Urgent Care where he was receiving treatment AGAIN.

Braving the 100 + HUMIDITY to sit at the park and wait while my son stretches his legs a bit after a 7 hour day at school.  I also sit and watch while he plays with neighbor boys at the same park across from our house because this mama won't let him be there alone!

As I was waiting for my husband to be released last Thursday, God spoke to me as I sat alone in my car, trying valiently not to chaff at yet another wait.  I had so much to do.  It was my son's 10th birthday and I had wanted so much for it to be the special day he envisioned.  I had places to go and people to see and a dinner to prepare.  Not to mention carpool hour was drawing closer and closer and I had quite a jaunt before I would even arrive at the school.  

How would you respond?  What do you do in the waiting?  What do you do when you feel abandoned by Almighty God?  What do you do when that feeling of "Seriously Lord?  I don't think I can take one more blessed trial! washes over your spirit?  When that waiting room is too full, too crowded, too MUCH???  When the hours/days/months/years drag by with dread that they will never end?

How would you like to respond?

I would like to say that practice makes perfect and I am the model "waiter."  I would love to be able to report that with so many opportunities over the years (don't even get me started on my life in short term missions before I had a husband and kids!), I am a patient, long suffering, JOYFILLED waiter.  That I wait patiently and calmly in spite of the long list of "to dos" at home needing my attention.  

I will say I am grateful for the opportunities to wait.  It goes against everything inside me.  My personality does not wait well (if we are honest, even the most laid back personalities struggle at times or so they say!).  I am a go getter, get it done today if at all possible, procrastination is something close to sin.  God, in His sovereign mercy, has literally placed me in a room, a car, a park and quietly, gently called me to wait in Him.  Not chaffing, not squirming, not anxious, not with a spirit full of angst.  But wait on Him.  

Oswald Chambers, in what is one of my favorite devotionals, "My Upmost for His Highest," said at the end of one of the excerpts: "Waiting in perfect confidence on Him!"  That is truly my goal.  I am grateful for His mercy and grace and forgiveness when I so miss that mark but what a joy when I am able to truly wait in perfect confidence.  

On a practical level I have learned to combate the angst of waiting by always having a good book in my purse.  I don't leave my house without my water bottle, a book and full dressed because you absolutely never know what will happen when you walk outside your home!  Sometimes if the need to write overtakes me, I also have my journal.  The hours I wait in my car every week have become precious times of making that phone call I have wanted to make for some time but never seem to have five minutes to do so.  I have answered innumerable texts while I wait.  Written notes to someone on my mind.  Caught up on my never ending list of research I want to do.  Last week I even wrote my outline for this post while sitting in my car!

And of course the most blessed pastime while waiting is talking to my God.  Our ever present, ever-ready-to-listen Father in heaven who despite how I might feel right now, does love me.  He does care.  His word promises over and over that He will never, ever leave me nor forsake me.  I am not alone in that waiting room of Providence.  I am held.  I am cared for.  I am loved.  I am blessed.  All my needs are met in Him.

It is in the waiting that I have a quiet moment to actually hear from Him.  I am learning to embrace that. And I can testify to the fact that He has revealed some very sweet things to me when I have been okay with that quiet time, that long line, that long hospital wait, that long line at the bank.

My prayer for you is that you too will learn to embrace whatever waiting room He has you in today.  Google (yes google is good for many things!) or use a concordance to find all the references of waiting, joy in the Lord, keeping your eyes on Jesus, etc.  That will keep you busy at least until the doctor calls your name and probably beyond!

                                                                                                 Joyfully waiting,

                                                                                                            Jama