You Know You Are Raising A Daughter in Brazil When...

She is messing with her Barbie's hair in the car the other day and you ask her what in the world she is doing and she nonchalantly replies, "Checking for lice, of course!"

She thinks that dancing is not dancing without shaking her little butt.  Sigh.

Picture taken from internet...and NO, I have never attended a Carnaval celebration, nor ever intend to!

When the commercials come on for Carnaval (that is still WEEKS away I might add...dryly) and the Samba starts, she is in instant movement and tells me, "I love this dancing, mommy.  They (the women) are SO pretty."  Only those of you who have the foggiest idea of how pagan a celebration Brazilian Carnaval is know how that makes my mommy heart feel.  It is everywhere here.  Oh, the things I never dreamed I would have to teach my three year old.  BUT, the good side is, it is a ripe opportunity to teach her about a lot of things!

When I am at a loss as to what to fix for lunch or dinner and ask her what sounds good and her reply is always "rice and beans!"

I have had a parenting post in my head for weeks now.  It goes something like this:

I was a "mother's helper" for numerous families, starting when I was 11 years of age.  I worked as a nanny for two families as a young adult and take credit for "helping" raise my little brother who is almost 14 years younger than I am.  I babysat for untold numbers of families over a oh, 20 year period?

Fact of life: at 11 and 20 and 25 and 30 I thought it had it all figured out and was even quite vocal to my family about what I would do different than so and so, or what I thought such and such a family was doing right, blah, blah, blah.  I was very judgmental.  Beware, lest you be judged by the same degree you judge.  Doesn't that Bible happen to say something about that...maybe I imagined it!

At 36 years of age, I have NOTHING figured out and with each passing day think that probably what I do know is hogwash.  That is putting it harshly but that is honestly how I feel somedays.  Add everyone else's opinion about how to discipline, feed, clothe and play with my children to my insecurities, my fear of failure, my horror at my children's behavior in public after working so hard on stuff at home, etc, etc and well, it is OVERWHELMING, this parenting thing.  Now, I have had the privilege of watching some amazing parents up close and personal and for that I am grateful.  I have learned so much from some very wise and godly people.  We also have a few people in our lives that speak Truth into our parenting struggles and we are very grateful to God for them, as well.  Their support, fervent prayers and wise counsel are vitally important to my husband and I.

Another fact of life I have come to embrace: mothering is not for the faint of heart.  It is relatively easy to become a mother, but what about the "after" part.  After you bring home that sweet child you nurtured under your heart for 9 months and suddenly your world feels a little upside down...or VERY upside down, if you are at all like me!  And what do you do when you are raising your children in a culture and environment radically different than you were raised in???  Where is the balance, the letting go of some things, keeping of others, incorporating two cultures into our family culture here at home???  And what about Biblical principles?  I wholeheartedly agree that the Bible is cross-cultural, trans-lingual, and so on.  But so far, I have not found where it specifically tells this mommy how to deal with this child and her special issues or my special issues (another thing I am increasingly aware of: most discipline and guidance and parenting issues start with me. Ug. Sobering).  

So, what I have come to grips with the last few weeks as we have been on our knees seeking divine guidance and grace to right some wrongs in our home is this: it is truly only on my knees that the specific direction comes.  I have wept and cried and screamed and yelled my frustrations, heartache and hurts.  When the storm passes, all I hear is "Jama, I am with you.  I see your heart.  I know your intentions.  I love you and I love your children.  I love that you love your children with everything you have and I will lead you, one day at a time." 

I am waiting for specific direction for many things but until then, I will do my best each day before God and strive always to please only Him and love my children as He loves them.  Oh, that it was as easy to do as to say.  God bless each of you who are doing as I am, your best!